Cast in order of Appearance.
Titus The narrator
Pex ‘n’ Quads A gymnasium on the Hotwells Road, Bristol
Charybdis Pex ‘n’ Quads hot tub. Repository of the colony of A.hydrophila
responsible for Herod’s gangrene.
Peggy & Billy Fat receptionists, aka the Cerberidae
Strapon Titus’s accountant
John Virgil Manager, Marketing & Placemaking. Guides Titus through the
underworld of Pex ‘n’ Quads
Costa Manager, Compliance. Relativist and homeopathy enthusiast.
Nero Cesare Manager, Diversity. Advocates a natural, organic lifestyle.
Petra Mountjoy Manager, Diversity-Compliance. Embittered post-feminist.
Mr Luvvertory Witless hippy ketamine dealer. Costa’s assistant.
Fergus the Fiddler A sex offender, hired as Nero Cesare’s assistant.
Colloid A psychopath, hired as Petra Mountjoy’s assistant. Local franchisee of
Multinational Services (Local Franchises) Bristol Ltd.
Guy Pigge A metrosexual personal trainer. The 1st guinea pig. Herod’s quondam
Aeromonas Annie The prophetess concerning Herod’s gangrene
Herod Manager, operations. Victim of Fournier’s gangrene
Aging Hippus The yoga god
White Willy An enormous albino dildo, strapped onto Herod’s person.
Ertha Mather-Steiner Voluptueuse. The 2nd guinea pig. Wife of Rodolfo
Rodolfo Mather-Steiner Quaker/anthroposophist. Also a guinea pig.
Caiban An instance of the Alph the Unsacred type. The 3rd guinea pig.
Onanisticles A scagsmith, in thrall to Ianeass the Gimp
Ianeass the Gimp Some kind of wizard, vapourizing in the cricket shed
Pheidippides Elderly hermaphrodite, training for a marathon