Speaking as a non-racist liberal conservative ...
IT'S OK TO BE WHITE
Dalek’s dumbstruck, Abottom stands amazed.
Both sing of the Woke Alphabet the praise.
“Who could with good integrity compete
Against an eructation quite so neat?”
So for a third time J____ on dais stands,
An ending happy with relief of hands,
Wokeness approaches bearing bogroll crown,
Skulking abjectly with her ugly frown, 760
And in conclave with her chief hypocrites,
Opinion-formers, sophists, and halfwits,
Crowns J____ the Champion of the Woke Games.
Rejoice, non-binaries! Exult, ye BAME’s!
Now hoist upon your shoulders Squealer J____
Bear him in triumph to his awful throne.
And when he’s finished with the thunderbox,
Vaccinate him against the Wuhan Pox.
They celebrate the Games with a woke feast.
Abundant kale and artificial yeast. 770
Macrobiotic yoghurt, Quorn, wheatgerm,
The fruit fly larvae and the writhing worm.
Surplus of rhubarb wine not sold to Krupp,
Warmed for an epoch in a plastic cup;
Vomit-resembling orange lentil dal,
The virtue-signalling beyond banal,
Rye loaf convincing as a concrete slab,
Halloumi gibbeted on its kebab,
Ice cream of hippies boycotting Israel,
All gluten-free is the organic ale. 780
Dropsical hour arrives for keynote speech
When Hitler L__________ stands up to preach,
Casual anti-semite of hard left,
Of ill repute but still some cult’ral heft,
Cringeworthy egotist who drones for hours,
Raising remorselessly his Babel Towers,
Tsunami of concocted stats, bald lies
Confident nasal tones and shifty eyes.
And as he preaches all the sniv’ling creeps
And Antifa phalangists go to sleep. 790
And as they slumber still the windbag drones
And even vanquishes our hero J____.
No more unto the victor cede the field,
Now victor doth to filibuster yield,
Until that sour late hour when boringness
Subsumes the boor in his own puddled mess.
And as the horloge tolls, the senses numb,
The blue-haired termagents are all struck dumb.
For all except the odd degenerate,
The gurgle and the snore predominate. 800
This time the demon’s course is Eastward set,
Faster than snail but not as quick as jet,
O’er snow-capped mount, o’er desert vast and numb,
O’er palace, project, piggery and slum:
Terra incognita between the coasts
His ignorance of which the wokist boasts.
Wokeness now glides over Miami beach
Where wellness gurus pseudoscience preach
To geriatric dentists and their wives,
Those wan asthmatic martyrs to the hives.
As whale road supercedes the prairie fields,
The nimbus builds and vanquished Helios yields.
Aeolus loosens now his knotted bag,
And the Anemoi from their prison drags.
Mild Zephyr cedes to Boreas the stage,
And Auster vies with Eurus in his rage.
Zeus flings his bolts and furiously raves,
And Lord Poseidon’s trident moils the waves.
Wokeness remorselessly through wind and rain
Grinds o’er first Lusitania then Spain,
Where Helios in triumph late restored
Is by his sky-clad acolytes adored,
Then left at Benidorm and up the coast.
Where basting nudists on the playas roast.
Over the Pyrrenees to soaked Camargue,
The hinterland of France’s nouvelle vague.
Then Paris, pantheon to po-mo spells,
A shrine to Foucault and to Foucault else:
The Tunis Gary Glitter, Humbert of
Bedouin boy, undergrad’s Nabokov;
White polo-neck, bald head, smug pervert grin;
A penis peeping from its peeled foreskin.
I'm absolutely delighted to learn that there was some booing of the mindless ritual "taking a knee" to the Marxist anti-semitic Black Lives Matter movement. More of the same in future please.
I am absolutely delighted to announce the publication in paperback and Kindle format of my fifth novel, Helix Folt the Conservative, available on Amazon as of this morning. Helix Folt is a satire of woke left wing antisemitism set in Bristol. Like my other Bristolian novels Amoeba Dick, Pretty Poli, and Odour Issues, it's very obviously a parody of a literary classic, viz. George Eliot's Felix Holt the Radical, and features many of the same characters as the other three novels.
Here's a link to the Amazon site. Keep a bucket handy.
Speaking as a non-racist liberal conservative ... IT'S OK TO BE WHITE