Excerpt from The Wokeiad to celebrate the completion of Bk2

Dalek’s dumbstruck, Abottom stands amazed.

Both sing of the Woke Alphabet the praise.

“Who could with good integrity compete

Against an eructation quite so neat?”

So for a third time J____ on dais stands,

An ending happy with relief of hands,

Wokeness approaches bearing bogroll crown,

Skulking abjectly with her ugly frown, 760

And in conclave with her chief hypocrites,

Opinion-formers, sophists, and halfwits,

Crowns J____ the Champion of the Woke Games.

Rejoice, non-binaries! Exult, ye BAME’s!

Now hoist upon your shoulders Squealer J____

Bear him in triumph to his awful throne.

And when he’s finished with the thunderbox,

Vaccinate him against the Wuhan Pox.

They celebrate the Games with a woke feast.

Abundant kale and artificial yeast. 770

Macrobiotic yoghurt, Quorn, wheatgerm,

The fruit fly larvae and the writhing worm.

Surplus of rhubarb wine not sold to Krupp,

Warmed for an epoch in a plastic cup;

Vomit-resembling orange lentil dal,

The virtue-signalling beyond banal,

Rye loaf convincing as a concrete slab,

Halloumi gibbeted on its kebab,

Ice cream of hippies boycotting Israel,

All gluten-free is the organic ale. 780

Dropsical hour arrives for keynote speech

When Hitler L__________ stands up to preach,

Casual anti-semite of hard left,

Of ill repute but still some cult’ral heft,

Cringeworthy egotist who drones for hours,

Raising remorselessly his Babel Towers,

Tsunami of concocted stats, bald lies

Confident nasal tones and shifty eyes.

And as he preaches all the sniv’ling creeps

And Antifa phalangists go to sleep. 790

And as they slumber still the windbag drones

And even vanquishes our hero J____.

No more unto the victor cede the field,

Now victor doth to filibuster yield,

Until that sour late hour when boringness

Subsumes the boor in his own puddled mess.

And as the horloge tolls, the senses numb,

The blue-haired termagents are all struck dumb.

For all except the odd degenerate,

The gurgle and the snore predominate. 800