Several years ago I wrote a full-length parody of the Mayor of Casterbridge. Pretty Poli relates the tragic history of Hawksmoor Perroquet, a ketamine-addicted African Grey parrot and a newcomer to Bristol. Hawksmoor sells his wife gormless budgerigar Arabella Melopsittica and their egg to a passing ornithologist, before swearing off his substance of choice. In his newfound state of sobriety his motivation returns, and he embarks on an ascent of the greasy pole of human endeavour as an architect of the hipster bars patronised by Bristol's jeunesse doree. His success brings him to the attention of a provincial merchant banker, the depressive pervert Sir Hearty Luncheon, who installs him as his puppet Mayor of Bristol. And then his wife rematerialises with their presumed chick, the hybrid Isolde Acridotheres, precipitating his downfall.
Pretty Poli has been rotting on Kindle for several years, selling a few copies here and there. I think it deserves better than this, and am planning to produce a softback edition. To this end I will need a front cover. And this is where the putative parrotist comes in. If there is somebody in or near Bristol who owns a largish reasonably docile parrot and would like to earn £50 for an hour or so of their time, here is what I propose.
We meet at a location of your choosing. I will be wearing a suit, and you are to photograph me holding your parrot, much as if I were Sir Hearty and your parrot were Hawksmoor Perroquet. Although it would be ideal if your parrot was an actual African Grey, I'm not too fussy about this, and you can use my phone to take the photos. When you have taken a decent quantity of photos, I give you 50 quid, and will also throw in a coffee or two or a pint or whatever. N.B. I own the copyright on the photos. That's about it.
If interested in this project please email me at rmcraven1@gmail.com.
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