Amoeba Dick Dramatis Personae - Cast in Order of Appearance

Amoeba Dick.

Cast in order of Appearance.[1]

Titus                                        The narrator

Pex ‘n’ Quads                         A gymnasium on the Hotwells Road, Bristol

Charybdis                               Pex ‘n’ Quads hot tub. Repository of the colony of A.hydrophila  

                                                  responsible for Herod’s gangrene.

Peggy & Billy                        Fat receptionists, aka the Cerberidae

Strapon                                   Titus’s accountant

John Virgil                              Manager, Marketing & Placemaking. Guides Titus through the 

                                                underworld of Pex ‘n’ Quads

Costa                                       Manager, Compliance. Relativist and homeopathy enthusiast.

Nero Cesare                            Manager, Diversity. Advocates a natural, organic lifestyle.

Petra Mountjoy                       Manager, Diversity-Compliance. Embittered post-feminist.

Mr Luvvertory                        Witless hippy ketamine dealer. Costa’s assistant.

Fergus the Fiddler                   A sex offender, hired as Nero Cesare’s assistant.

Colloid                                    A psychopath, hired as Petra Mountjoy’s assistant. Local franchisee of 

                                                Multinational Services (Local Franchises) Bristol Ltd.

Guy Pigge                               A metrosexual personal trainer. The 1^st guinea pig. Herod’s quondam 

                                                Ganymede

Aeromonas Annie                   The prophetess concerning Herod’s gangrene

Herod                                      Manager, operations. Victim of Fournier’s gangrene

Aging Hippus                         The yoga god

White Willy                            An enormous albino dildo, strapped onto Herod’s person.

Ertha Mather-Steiner              Voluptueuse. The 2^nd guinea pig. Wife of Rodolfo

Rodolfo Mather-Steiner          Quaker/anthroposophist. Also a guinea pig.

Caiban                                     An instance of the Alph the Unsacred type. The 3^rd guinea pig.

Onanisticles                            A scagsmith, in thrall to Ianeass the Gimp

Ianeass the Gimp                    Some kind of wizard, vapourizing in the cricket shed

Pheidippides                           Elderly hermaphrodite, training for a marathon

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[1] Note that the list is by no means exhaustive, and will be added to as the novel evolves.